Showing Up

Let me preface this blog…

I was running this morning. It was an hour hill run where I run to the top of this steep road that has amazing views of the mountain. I run early, so it’s just me, my son’s dog, and the groomers getting the mountain ready for the day, out in the elements. This morning the full moon was blazing in the sky. I’m like a little kid when I see the moon shining so brightly. I say hi to her, tell her how beautiful she is, and thank her for her presence. The moon just makes me smile. She is so radiant!

While I’m running, when I’m not focused on being totally present in that moment, my mind loves to wander all over the place. This morning, I had thoughts of the relationship my son has with his biological father. They are together skiing for the weekend. I dropped him off last night. Anyway, their relationship is challenging. My son’s father is very attached to his ego identity and my son struggles for more attention from him. This dynamic has gotten more difficult as my son has gotten older.

Putting it all together…

Just as I finished my conversation with the moon and all her glory, an insight hit me that was so simple yet so profound! I realized that one could only “show up” for another at the level they “show up” for themself soulfully. WOW! I can’t believe I just got that now. My point is that from my son’s perspective, his dad “shows up” BIG TIME for himself, but not for Evan (my son). One can easily appear to “show up” for themself when it stems from the ego identity. It is the ego’s way to make one feel important, taken care of, and somehow better than everyone else. But this is done at a superficial level that is not sustainable. The ego will always have greater expectations down the road. The only sustainable “showing up” is one that comes from the soul. This is based on universal love – love for oneself as well as love for everyone else. If one is only “showing up” for themself at the ego-identity level, they cannot “show up” for another, at least not at the level of a true connection.

I find this insight incredibly rich. It gives my being another opportunity to hold space for another. If I perceive that one is not able to “show up” for me, then they probably are not truly “showing up” for themself. It is a cue to me to be present and hold that space of love, light and non-judgement for another. I can have no attachment to the outcome, but I can trust that if I do hold that space, Spirit can enter and be a strong presence to bring forth whatever is meant to surface.

This will be a great conversation for me to have with my son when I see him again.

Love, light, and soulful “showing up!”

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